What is a Sex Therapist? A Clinical Sexologist Based in Roanoke, VA, Explains

Technically, any therapist can claim to be a sex therapist (or clinical sexologist), whether or not they have had specialized training.  This is unfortunate, considering many training programs don’t include any information about healthy sexuality or how to treat sexual disorders.

I am an AASECT certified sex therapist (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) and I am going to explain what this means.  As of August, 2024, there are only 25 of us in Virginia!  I am the only clinical sexologist offering in person sessions in Roanoke.

I became a licensed clinical social worker in 2008, which included getting a master’s degree, practicing under the supervision of a licensed practitioner for nearly three years, and then passing an exam.  I worked in the mental health field for the next 15 years in both non-profit and for-profit settings in Roanoke, Virginia, in both clinical and management roles, in settings including private practice, hospital, and several agencies.

During all this time, I received no training in human sexuality and did not even know I could specialize in this area! I did not realize I could become a clinical sexologist if I pursued the right education and training.

By the summer of 2022, I had become a member of the executive management team at a community services board in Roanoke, VA.  I was no longer working with clients.  I began to feel disconnected from the people we were helping and worried I was losing touch with the reasons I had entered the mental health field.  I decided to pursue sex therapy and couples therapy as my specialties, leave my management job, and go into full time private practice in Roanoke, Virginia.

I enrolled in the certification program through Modern Sex Therapy Institutes and had an incredible learning experience.  Over the next 18 months, I completed 150 hours of training on sex therapy, sex education, and couples therapy.  I attended a Sexual Attitude Reassessment, which is a two day training that helps professionals to examine our own internal beliefs, values, and attitudes toward sexual topics.  I participated in 50 hours of clinical supervision with a very experienced psychologist / clinical sexologist, and I spent over 500 hours working with individuals and couples to address sexual concerns.  Once all of this was complete, I was officially approved by AASECT as a certified sex therapist. In addition to referring to myself as a sex therapist, I can use the title clinical sexologist.

During sessions with couples or individuals, my clients talk with me about sexual issues that are causing them stress.  Some of the most common reasons people seek me out include desire discrepancy, guilt and shame, body image issues, and pornography addiction. I also address sexual dysfunction, including pain with penetration, difficulty with orgasm, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and delayed ejaculation. Sometimes people seek me out because they have alternative sexual interests (fetishes, kink, BDSM) or alternative relationship styles (swinging, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, polyamory).  Often there are also life stressors, relationship issues, or mental health struggles present, and we address these topics as well.

The most common reason people seek me out for couples therapy is that they are experiencing desire discrepancy, where one person has more drive than the other.  This can cause hurt feelings and conflict over time, and learning to communicate more effectively with the support of a trained couples therapist can be extremely helpful.

Working with couples and individuals with sexual concerns is even more rewarding than I would have imagined.  I have always found it fulfilling when a client shares something with me that they have not felt comfortable sharing with anyone else.  When it comes to sexual issues, this happens frequently. 

Another advantage of sex therapy is that it can be very clear when goals are achieved.  For example, when a woman tells me she has had pain-free intercourse for the first time in months, or when a intercourse man who was struggling with erectile dysfunction tells me that he was able to make love to girlfriend, I feel fortunate to have been able to help.

It takes courage to seek professional help, and it takes even more courage to seek therapy for sexual issues!  Whether in person in Roanoke, Virginia, or online anywhere in the state of Virginia, I am confident that I have the training, knowledge, and skills to provide a quality experience to couples and individuals who choose to work with me.