Heal from emotional wounds by using the connection between your mind and body
EMDR treatment in person in Roanoke, Virginia, or online from anywhere in Virginia
What is EMDR?
EMDR is a structured form of therapy that helps people become less impacted by painful or traumatic memories. When our resources to cope with a situation are overwhelmed, we may experience a fight, flight, or freeze response. Without a safe opportunity to work through this stress response, a sense of distress can persist for months or years afterward. EMDR helps your brain to process difficult memories in the safety and support of the present moment, which allows for healing.
EMDR can be used as needed through individual sessions. I offer EMDR therapy for trauma in person at my comfortable office in the historic Old Southwest neighborhood of Roanoke, Virginia, or EMDR therapy for trauma online from anywhere in Virginia.
To learn more about EMDR, please visit this link from the EMDR International Association:
Who is EMDR Good For?
EMDR might be a good fit for someone who has tried talk therapy and hasn’t gotten the results they desire. Have you experienced talking about painful subjects at length, but you can’t actually feel the pain, you’re just in your head being intellectual and analyzing everything from a distance? This can feel terrible, and rarely helps you to achieve change. You might be working really hard, but if you feel like talking isn’t enough, you might benefit from approaching therapy in a different way.
EMDR lets you drop into your body and access your emotions without so much “story.” It can feel freeing to be able to let go of the more cognitive part of yourself (which might think it is protecting you by keeping you from feeling your emotions, but is actually keeping you stuck!). EMDR is good for people who want to go DEEPER into feeling their emotions and connecting with themselves.
EMDR is also good for those who don’t want to talk about painful memories at length, or even at all. Believe it or not, you don’t have to tell me what we’re targeting during a session. As long as you can let me know roughly what you are experiencing during a session, I never have to hear the details of anything you would prefer to keep private.
Ready to get started with EMDR therapy in Roanoke, Virginia, or online anywhere in the state of Virginia? Contact me to schedule a free consultation.
What happens during a session?
Identifying a Target
First, we’ll decide what you want to focus on. Possibilities include a painful memory that you’re having difficulty letting go of or a negative core belief. For some people, this part is easy. They came to therapy with something very specific and troubling that they want to address (such as a traumatic memory that replays in their mind over and over).
For other people, it isn’t as clear. They want to feel better, but there doesn’t seem to be a single specific root cause of what is upsetting them. For someone who isn’t sure, I will ask, has something been bothering you that you would love to feel less impacted by, or less reactive to? Do you notice that you think judgmental things about yourself that seem unfair, like you’ve internalized the voice of someone else, or like the judgments could be based on the past instead of the present?
Trauma doesn’t just come from major life-threatening events. Trauma can also be used to describe the experience of acting as though the rules of the past still apply instead of coming into the present. For example, if you had a restrictive, controlling parent while growing up, you might have trouble relaxing and being yourself in your present day romantic relationship. You might feel like you have to guard or censor a part of yourself, since this is what kept you safe from your controlling parent when you were young. This is not helpful in the present day. Your partner is not your parent! But a part of you remains stuck in the past, reacting to old circumstances. Your unconscious effort to keep yourself safe is actually causing harm and keeping you stuck. The target in this scenario might be the negative core belief, “It’s not safe to be myself.”
Keep in mind that the target is just an entry point, something to open the door. Once we get started with processing through bilateral stimulation, your mind will often connect to other memories, beliefs, emotions, or experiences. This puts less pressure on you to identify the correct target up front. You can relax and trust that your brain will move toward healing with the right structure and supports in place.
Processing with Bilateral Stimulation
Bilateral stimulation refers to sensory input that occurs in an alternating steady pattern on one side of your body and then the other. My preferred method is for the client to hold little pulsers in each hand. They feel a gentle buzz in one hand, then the other. Some find it soothing.
The original EMDR bilateral stimulation was done with eye movement, in which the therapist would move a hand back and forth and the client would follow it with their eyes. This method is very effective, but has the disadvantage that you can’t close your eyes during the process. Some people find that it’s easier to explore their thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations with their eyes closed. Plus, I won’t lie to you, it’s totally possible that you might shed a few tears. It’s hard to watch a moving target if you’re crying!
Completing Sets and Checking in
With EMDR processing, I will ask you to engage in bilateral stimulation while you hold the target memory or belief in your mind. This will last for about one minute. This is called a set. At that point, I’ll pause the bilateral stimulation and ask you to take a deep breath. I’ll invite you to describe any thoughts, emotions, or physical sensations that came to you during processing.
This is only a brief check-in for me to understand what’s going on for you and whether things are on track; this is NOT a long conversation (which can interrupt or slow down what we’re trying to achieve). Most likely, I’ll respond to you with something like, “great, keep going with that,” and we’ll start another set. We will do this a number of times and see where your mind takes you.
Many people find that this process allows them to explore and understand themselves more deeply than simple talk therapy. You might have surprising insights, strong emotions, or make new connections you had not thought of before.
Ready to get started with EMDR therapy in Roanoke, Virginia, or online anywhere in the state of Virginia? Contact me to schedule a free consultation.
Wrapping Up A Session
At the end of a session, we will have a few minutes to talk through what came up for you. You might identify goals or intentions for moving forward. If you feel emotional, we might take time to do a brief grounding exercise or some deep breathing before you have to exit the calm safe space of my office and go back out into the real world.
What if I Get Overwhelmed?
Surprisingly, this doesn’t happen very often, in my experience. Your brain knows how to protect you from opening up to more than you can handle. You have defenses and safeguards in place. If you aren’t ready to face a painful memory or certain beliefs or emotions, your mind won’t go there. It’s unlikely that the floodgates will open during EMDR.
If you DO get overwhelmed, we will practice some grounding strategies and visualization exercises to help you come back to the present and regain a sense of safety.
What if it Doesn’t Work?
Sometimes someone can’t get into EMDR. They feel distant or shut down. They’re trying to allow thoughts, memories, and physical sensations to come up but they feel nothing or can’t stop censoring. If that happens, it’s okay. It might be that we haven’t yet built enough trust for you to feel sufficiently safe on an unconscious level to engage in EMDR. It could also be that this simply isn’t the modality for you. Different strategies work for different people. I have been a licensed therapist since 2008 and I have lots of tools in my toolbox to help you with healing and personal growth.
Ready to get started with EMDR therapy in Roanoke, Virginia, or online anywhere in the state of Virginia? Contact me to schedule a free consultation.
What Happens After?
Some people feel tired after EMDR processing, and that’s understandable. It’s hard work. I recommend taking time and space to rest if you can. Some people report feeling less reactive to painful memories after EMDR processing. Others report that negative core beliefs feel less true or less stuck.
A Helpful Metaphor
If you broke your leg, you would seek medical treatment. A doctor would likely set your broken leg and put it in a cast. Your bones would slowly knit back together. Your leg would heal.
So here’s a question for you… Who healed your leg?
I would say that it wasn’t the doctor. The doctor provided supportive circumstances that allowed your broken bone to heal in a healthy way. But the doctor didn’t cause your bones to knit back together, stronger than ever. Your body knows how to heal itself. Your body WANTS to heal itself.
EMDR can be looked at like this. EMDR doesn’t heal your past wounds, and neither does the therapist. Instead, EMDR is a helpful container that provides structure and a safe opportunity for your brain to heal itself.
Your brain wants to heal. You don’t need to be haunted by the painful things that have happened to you. You deserve better.
Getting started
Step 1: Free consultation call
Schedule a video or phone call to tell me a little about why you are seeking therapy. I will listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and let you know whether I think I can help.
Step 2: First 50 minute session
I will send you a link to complete some paperwork before we meet. During our first session, we will talk about your history and your current goals. We will get a feel for one another and decide whether we’re a good fit to work together. If either of us decides that we’re not a good fit, I’m happy to offer other recommendations.
Step 3: Ongoing 50 minute sessions
We will schedule a standing weekly or every other week time slot for ongoing therapy, either in person in Roanoke, Virginia, or online from anywhere in Virginia. We will check in regularly about progress toward your goals and conclude trauma therapy when you are satisfied with what you have achieved.
Ready to get started with EMDR therapy in Roanoke, Virginia, or online anywhere in the state of Virginia? Contact me to schedule a free consultation.